Sexual intimacy is one of those wonderful things that happen when you really know your partner. Don’t get me wrong-those one-nighters, short relationships, and booty calls are fun. When you find “that” person, that’s when the magick happens.I’ve mentioned before the hubbs and I don’t really talk much about what’s going to happen next because we have the intimacy that comes from knowing each other inside and out. Some might say that’s what makes marriage/faithfullness boring, but I would argue that’s what makes it great.


I’ve spoken many times of my favorite psychological theorist, Abraham Maslow, the father of Humanistic Psychology. He developed a Heirarchy of Needs (I ❤ Maslow!!) On the bottom rung are the things we need to survive. Along with food, clothing, shelter, etc he puts sex on the bottom rung. Two levels up is sexual intimacy. The idea is that once certain needs are met (say the bottom level), then we move up to the next level. We are sexual beings who crave and desire sex, but eventually when the right needs are met, we attain sexual intimacy.

In a previous post, I referred to this change as coming with a whisper, not a bang. It resonated with several people. That’s because it’s true. One day, after you’ve deposited enough love and understanding, enough caring gestures, and lust filled glances, you’ll realize somewhere along the way, it just showed up.

And it will be beautiful.