You’ll be here, when I need you the most.

I need ya, I need ya, I need you right now/ Yeah, I need you right now
So don’t let me, don’t let me, don’t let me down~ Daya ft. The Chainsmokers 

I figure it only appropriate as I talk about the deep respect a relationship needs by using the hubbs song of the hour. I have seen so many young women lately lamenting about the state of relationships today and the fact that there really aren’t many. Rosie at Hookup Culture can tell you all about it. I do, in fact, enjoy her blog quite a bit. What about when you’re ready for someone who be there when you need them? This is quite a different animal.

Trust, honesty, respect: essential relationship components. 

As a friend as I were discussing the other day, she mentioned that she said to her boyfriend, look this is the situation right now and you can either accept it or not. She wasn’t giving the relationship an ultimatum, but rather a behavior. Anyone who has been in a relationship with someone who had a behavior you weren’t hot on know, the behavior will continue unless you calmly, concisely explain you won’t tolerate continuation of the behavior. This goes for being there for you when you need them. This goes for relationship breakers, cheating, or whatever your hot buttons are because if you continue to tolerate the behavior, it will continue to happen.

That being said, the most successful relationships include a deep, abiding respect for each other. I have used the show Madam Secretary before to illustrate this point. Tea Leoni is the Secretary of State. One of the reasons she is so successful at her job (aside from good writing) is the unwavering support her spouse provides her (portrayed by Tim Daly) allows her to bounce ideas off someone, talk through things that may bother her, and not be judged. We all need this in our significant other (SO). The fact that the hubbs may not love that I’m continuing my education at a (somewhat) advanced age, he knows how important it is to me. Because he respects me, he supports me. And because of my love and respect for him, I listen the 100th time he tells me he’s SUPER excited the Cubs are so far ahead of second place Cardinals. Do I need any of this knowledge? No, but because I love my husband and I want him to feel appreciate and listened to, I remember.

I really do hope they win this year. For no other reason than I know how happy it will make the hubbs. 

As with most everything else in life, you get out what you put into it. If you give your love, and support, and respect, and don’t get it back- It’s time for a talk.

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Since I have so desperately missed psychology, I have decided to add tele-therapy sessions to my repertoire and you can find that webpage at Self-Actualization Therapy. It will be more clinical psychology and less personal but I would LOVE to see you all there!!