The hubbs and I generally refrain from having sex when I have my period. He’s a little squeamish when it comes to blood and, quite frankly, I can’t relax to the point that I can enjoy myself anyway. It suits us just fine. If you are a couple that likes to have sex during this time (many do), great! You are not weird to like it, you’re not weird to not like it. You’re not a prude or whatever else anyone thinks they have a right to throw at you. This is one of those personal decisions that comes with being a couple.

In any case, I generally leave not to subtle clues around to let him know that I am again open for business. This month, I just didn’t feel like it. I left the clues sitting about for a few days longer. I just wasn’t in the mood. I was in a sexual drought, which for me usually doesn’t last longer than a week or so. Usually after a week, or thereabouts, one of us will make the remark to the other its “been a while” so wanna fool around? Or something equally frank. The difference between our little droughts and a year long sexual famine is this… neither of us is willing to allow a little drought to become a famine. I can’t think of anything more depressing than a marriage without sex. Parenting children, the day to day paying of the bills, adn work and more can weigh on anyone. When you allow those things to weigh you down to the point that you would kill for a drop of water, it’s gone on way too long.

A friend of mine mentioned to me a few months ago that his wife didn’t want to have sex, but he didn’t mind really because he was a faithful kind of guy (and he is! A really great guy!) and he had two hands, they had kids that he loved and he loved her. Which, okay, to have that point of view in that situation is great, but I don’t know if I could feel the same way. Personally, I believe that when you let everything else get in the way of actually wanting each other then you’ve lost it already. I mean, why did you get married? You loved this person, you were likely having sex before you got married (not to be a shock here, but it is 2014) and you likely enjoyed that sex quite a bit. So what happened? You let life get in the way, but isn’t marriage a  big part of your life? Or a long term-relationship even? Granted, much of this will be written from a married woman point of view, being as I am, in fact, married. But you know my point. As soon as either of you stops caring, stops being sexually attracted to the other, stops making an effort, there is no way to go but down……

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