I’m leaving on a jet plane, well probably a bigger plane then that, then another one, then a jet plane. I’ve got two layovers on the way to Rapid City, SD, but I couldn’t care less, because I’ve been waiting almost two weeks plus to put my arms around my son and his wife. I wish I had been able to get away from work before now, but my daughter just left there and my ex-husband, his dad, will be there until Friday or Saturday. It actually ended up working out pretty well because just as some family is leaving, I am coming in to town. This way, they don’t have to be without family a little longer.


Elliot Theva MacDonald. 

Yesterday was the funeral for our little angel and wouldn’t you know I saw babies everywhere (We’re not broken just bent And we can learn to love again). I had a heartbreaking talk with my son. I did speak for a few minutes with my daughter in law, but it is so difficult to know what to say. I’m sure my daughter can attest I have been annoyingly present on her text messages. It’s been incredibly difficult being so far from them, when I know they could use me, but such is life in our global world. We can’t always drop everything and be there, as much as we might like to. Adulting sucks sometimes.


Now, a big bad yellow belt! Poor kid might be orange belt if we could ever actually get him to class!

I do still have one child at home, Lil Bit, almost 12. I’ve been running a store, Macon Vapor Cigar (Dba Blown Away), and I’m the only one right now. I’ve been working  10 hours a day Monday through Saturday. I love the store and I’m so excited to be bringing new smoke accessories to Memphis, but it’s exhausting. We’re closed Sundays, right now. In any case, I’m leaving Saturday and returning Thursday (yep, Thanksgiving). In order to do this, the owner is running the store Saturday and the hubbs is running it Monday through Wednesday (closed for Thanksgiving). It’s going to be a bit of a strain all around, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thankfully, the hubbs is supportive. When I wanted to leave right away, he asked me to exercise caution, to wait a few weeks. I’m not always a great listener, so I began looking right away, but work events conspired. I couldn’t leave anyway. The owners wife had a baby Sunday night. No, the irony is not lost on me.

Image result for hope after loss of a child

Rebirth of life. 

It was like the universe was telling me, stop, calm down. There are souls coming back into the earth all the time. Your Elliot will be returned somewhere. It gave me an incredible amount of peace. My daughter in law, whom is Buddhist, likewise believes in reincarnation. I hope this had brought her the peace it has brought me. It’s still a terribly sad situation.

We will grieve over this for a long time, but I know it will be okay, one day.

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