The post that I intended to make last night comes together tonight. In an unexpected twist, since I was writing about the loss of my father, which was 32 years ago, I got quite choked up writing. Just goes to show you, 2 years or 32 years later, we will still feel the loss of someone we love. Without further ado…
If you spend just a few minutes on Facebook, you will no doubt see many notes of lost loved ones- recent and past. And on those posts, you will see many platitudes.
-It will get easier.
-Sending love your way.
-I’m so sorry for your loss.
-god takes all the good ones.
Well meaning and loving friends, one and all. Everyone wants to accept these platitudes with the love and graciousness with which they are offered. But what about when all you want to do is scream–I DON’T CARE!! I just want them to come back to me!!
A great sadness in death is you appreciate all those trying moments with your mom or the sibling rivalry between you and your little sister. And you would do just about anything to have that just one last time.
When I was nine, my father passed away. Doctor David Elliot Levenson, whom my oldest son is named after so no one would forget the name of the man who meant so much to us even though he only had a short time together. He was a wonderful man, a doctor, who loved his family and loved his patients. Until the day it closed, the medical practice he began had a plaque to his name and every new employee had to learn what a great person and physician he was. My memories are few, but my little brother (who was only 3) has almost none (most in stories people have told) so I count myself lucky. Now I am 41 years old and 32 years later- I miss him every single day. Not with a burning desire, but with a wistful sadness. He would have made an amazing grandpa and my kids (and my brother’s kids) had to miss that. I know he would be so proud of us all because that’s who he was.
So I say to anyone that has lost someone-It will hurt, but the pain subsides. You never forget and you never stop missing them. You will get bummed they cannot see your accomplishments. It will get better- maybe not today or tomorrow-but one day you will discover that you can bear it. And that’s a good thing. Because it means you know they are missing out, but maybe they can still see you and they’re proud.
Blessed Be to everyone.