So here I am, with open arms, hoping you’ll see, what your love means to me- Journey
In day 23 of the June 1-30 challenge, for which it is painfully obviously I am terribly behind and which can be found here, we’re to write about a difficult decision, a time when we had to choose whether we were in or out. I have two such moments like these in the two major relationships of my life, my ex husband and my current husband. Since I would much rather focus on coming into a renewed good decision and positivity, I shall focus on the relationship of myself and the hubbs.
I’ve made no secret of the fact that we have had difficult times. Being sick, in pain, or surgery for the past 10+ years can put quite a strain on a relationship. Add to that the mounting medical bills, children growing up, moving out, and life in general and you have a surefire recipe for disaster. The hubbs has always been non-confrontational, to say the least. He will go to great pains in order to avoid argument and that is no way to have a marriage. One of my most popular articles, Houston,we have a problem., is about embracing the arguments rather than running from them. Every couple argues and the ones that don’t are weird or headed for divorce.
There was a book quite a few years ago, I wonder if anyone remembers, called Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus by Dr. John Gray. It makes light of the fact that men and women are, figuratively, from different planets, but it’s so very true in many ways. Psychologically speaking, they have done studies and found things like men and women give directions differently. Men are more likely to say head North 3 miles and take a right, whereas, women are more likely to say, head to the Big Chicken (shout-out to my ATL peeps) and take a right at the second light. This small difference is enough to mean a huge difference in communication. And communication is perhaps the most important tool in your relationship arsenal.
Another great book from a few years ago: The Five Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman
When we were planning to transfer, via the hubbs job, to Denver, CO and leaving Chicago, IL, my 11 year old and I came to visit my two young adults in Memphis, TN. Sometime in the next couple of weeks, something shifted at his job and he lost it. The little bit and I had been dreaming of leaving Chicago for many years and we were not hot on the idea of going back. The hubbs dug his feet in and, likewise, refused to leave Chicago. So, we spent about a month thinking we were going to split up. After that, the hubbs called me and started talking to me more and more and I realized that he realized he had made a terrible mistake. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew, and I still know that he is the man for me. He knew it wouldn’t be easy and so did I but we were both willing to put forth the effort.
So we did, and I couldn’t be happier I jumped back in.
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Best wishes to you both, heroes.
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Reblogged this on Still Another Writer's Blog and commented:
Probably VERY important to remember this when writing dialog….