According to Merriam-Webster, yen means to have an intense desire. That’s not just desire, but intense desire. That’s serious. Its origins are Japanese, known for years as a sensual people thanks to their connections to ancient art (go here for an excellent article about erotic art from all over the world, especially Japan), as well as their Medieval Japanese book on Shunga. Learn more about that here). I’m not going to go into that too much for our purposes here. What are those purposes you say?

When I think of a forever relationship, I think of that person I want to be with above all others. I think of the person I want to have sex with for the rest of my life. I think of how much the hubbs makes me smile and laugh every day. I think of how loving he performs sexual acts on me to ensure my pleasure is the most important thing to him. All of these things wrapped up in the awesome ball he is makes me desire him more and more each day. Even simple things like, since I’ve been working so much at this new job, he’s taken on pretty much all of the grocery shopping. He is always sure to get me anything on my list, plus anything he knows I particularly love. He tries to time dinner (when he’s off) so that it’s ready when I get home or soon thereafter. If men are microwaves (it’s an analogy I’ve used many times before, I don’t remember where sorry!) and women are like crock pots, he does an excellent job of turning on my crock pot every day.

Every day he renews my desire for him in so many ways. A blogger friend (Must Be This Tall To Ride) spends some time re-hashing why he and his wife divorced. One of my favorite posts of his is this one, She divorced me because I left dishes in the sink. While it’s true no one leaves because of dishes in the sink, it is also true that if you don’t tend to your relationship, it will wither and die. It’s the small things that, believe it or not, matter more than the big things.

Do you want to know what creates desire? Those little things done regularly and lovingly. If you grudgingly are doing something for your partner, is it coming over lovingly? Odds are it isn’t. Are you doing something for your partner because you’re looking for a return or because you really want to do something to make them happy? As with most things in life, intent is so important.

Show your SO (significant other) how much they mean to you every day and you’ll reap the rewards all over, including in the bedroom.