Did you sleep on the wrong side?
I’m catching a bad vibe
And it’s contagious, What’s the latest?
Speak your heart, Don’t bite your tongue
Don’t get it twisted, Don’t misuse it
What’s your problem?
Lets resolve it
We can solve it, What’s the causes?
It’s official, You got issues
I got issues, but I know I miss you
(Lyrics from Alliyah’s We Need a Resolution)
I was reading an article yesterday and, in it, the woman mentions that she is always leery of couples who say they don’t argue. I have to agree with her! It’s creepy and its certainly not a valid way to have a marriage or relationship. She said also she hates to say that relationship are work, but rather an investment. What a great way to see it! The point, of course, is that you get out what you put in. Back to the arguing…..
Everyone argues. Families argue. Parents argue with children. Co-workers argue. The problem comes when arguments become detrimental to your love life. Arguing in and of itself, isn’t bad. How you react to those arguments and how you move on from them is the important thing. I’ve written about arguments in your relationship a couple of times before, here & here (My first attempt at hyperlinking, so cross your fingers…. maybe toes too!).
In the second, there are some tips and things for fighting fair. Personally, I think how you fight means a lot more than the fact that you fight. When two (or more) people live in one home for any period of time, disagreements are going to happen. Ensuring that you handle those disagreements without causing detriment to your relationship is the important thing. The thing about arguments, weirdly, is they let you know that you still care. When you’re in a relationship, an argument starts, but one person doesn’t engage it usually means someone has one foot out the door. You don’t argue with someone you don’t care about and you don’t engage when you don’t care.
So, don’t look at your arguing as a bad thing. Use them as productive moments and stepping stones to enhance your relationship. A disagreement doesn’t signal the end. It is a signal that you still care enough to have an issue to fix. That’s what arguments are, after all. They let you know there is something that needs work. Put effort into your investment and it will pay off with dividends!
(heehee I couldn’t resist this one).
Anna DrRuth ForToday- facebook
linusbaby1998- tumblr (an homage to a very very old screen name lol)