I think that sex gets a lot of play. Sexual intimacy, not so much. Don’t get me wrong, sex is awesome and you should definitely have lots of it and enjoy every second of it! But, when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, like the hubbs and myself, its even better. I don’t mean because you don’t have to try so hard. I don’t think there is ever a very good excuse for letting yourself go, so to speak. Whether you’ve been together a few months, a few years, or over a decade, as soon as you stop making an effort in your relationship, that relationship is headed for trouble.

Back to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, sexual intimacy is on the third tier, in the area dealing with love and belonging. Sexual intimacy brings another level to your relationship. When you are completely comfortable and at ease with your partner, you can open up about some of the things that you have been holding back on perhaps. Personally, I would say always be open and honest about what you want sexually, but a lot of people find this incredibly difficult. That’s your good news. But wait, there’s more! For the large part of the female population that finds it difficult to have an orgasm with your partner, you will have an easier time reaching your goal with a partner you’re comfortable with in bed. Maybe this is because you’re more willing to ask for what you want or need, I’m not sure. Who cares! Use it to your advantage and enjoy!

The thing about intimacy is there is no trick to it. It just happens. It happens with some work and effort and time. It happens with trust and honesty and love. It happens with respect and happiness and it usually will just sneak up on you one day. You don’t need sexual intimacy to survive live, but you need it for your relationship to thrive. Who wouldn’t rather thrive than just survive?

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Anna Levenson-Pintrest