A girlfriend of mine has an amazingly good relationship with her husband. Surprisingly, they’ve been together since they were quite young. When they were teenagers, they got pregnant and had a daughter. They’ve been together ever since. Most marriages begun when someone is very young do not last, especially when you add having a child very young to the mix. Lori is fond of saying Mario was “kind of a slut” when they met, but he’s a loyal kind of guy and she’s a loyal kind of gal so they made it work. He loves to play golf and does so whenever possible. She loves to garden and has the most amazing backyard. They spend most evenings at home together, but the rest of the time, they’re pretty much their own people. Their daughter is almost 30 now and they’re just as close as they have ever been. It’s a relationship that it is easy to be jealous of, but don’t be. Use that envy to make your relationship one that other people are jealous of as well.
Relationships are work. We all know this. If you put the time and effort into any job, you will see results. Why would we think relationships/marriage are any different. You wouldn’t expect to glide out on an ice skating rink and do a triple lutz anymore than you can expect to be awesome at relationships without a little practice. Each relationship is different, just like every person is different. Relationships are an amalgamation of what two people need for their own relationship to work. My marriage doesn’t have to look like yours in order for it to work for me. Everyone has to sit down with their own SO and figure out what works for them.
Talk about what is working for you and talk about what isn’t- This is the best way to ensure an issue doesn’t become an argument
Tell your partner what you need from them- And, ask them what they need from you. It’s a two way street. You can’t expect change if you aren’t willing to change.
Remember this is a partnership- It’s not a monarchy, you’re not king (or queen). It is democracy at it’s best. Make it work for you.
Make everyone jealous of you and your SO!
Anna DrRuth ForToday- facebook
linusbaby1998- tumblr (an homage to a very very old screen name lol)