Everyone has a sexual past. While TV shows love to poke fun at this discussion, telling your partner about your sexual past is important. Before entering into a serious relationship, this is a conversation you should have. Not only that, getting tested for STIs is always a good idea, because if you are in a more serious relationship then you will likely be more lax about condoms and other forms of protection.

Now, a lot of people get hung up by the actual number of people you’re going to tell your partner or how many will be too many for them. In truth, some might. The very small minded and stupid ones so no one you need to be concerned about. Say you’re a 35 year old woman who has never been married. You’ve been dating for roughly 18 years, if not longer. Say you’ve had a couple of long-term partners and a few years where you dated quite a bit. Conservatively, you might have had 30 partners. Alternately, the list could be much longer. I recommend being honest. If they have a problem with it, try to break it down for them like I did, or any other way that you like.

The benefit of honesty: There are a lot of people you can tell white lies with and a lot of people you could out and out lie to if you wanted. This person should NEVER be your partner. How can anyone have any level of security in a relationship where they do not believe what their partner says. Not to mention that if you break your trust with your partner, it is going to take a LOT longer to earn it back. If you have an open and honest relationship, it doesn’t matter if your number is 1000. The important number is 1, the one you are with and if that’s what matters to you and to them, there is no way to feel insecure.

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Anna Levenson-Pintrest

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