I was watching a something earlier about pony play. It was a TV show and one character was making fun of the participants, but another asked why are you being so judgmental? It’s true and a crying shame that others feel the need to tear each others down, especially if someone is engaging in something outside of the “norm.” The great thing about sex is whatever your “thing” is you can find someone else who’s “thing” it is too!

Sexual fantasies are so interesting to me. I toyed with the idea of a survey and began doing some research on the subject. I was surprised to find the top ten sexual fantasies were actually quite tame. The tops on the list: Oral sex, sex in a public place, masturbation, and sex in a romantic setting. But not everyone’s sexual fantasy is so tame. Say you want to bring up something a bit more out of the ordinary to your partner. If you are willing to get into bed with someone, you should be able to talk to them about sex. Even so, having this conversation during sexy time is probably not the best time or place to bring it up.

The next time you are having a relaxing meal, this would be a great time for a conversation. Be direct and be honest. Don’t beat around the bush (so to speak, badumchh) and be sure your partner knows that if you are not into this then you aren’t going to leave them. Believe it or not, fear is your biggest opposition here. Your SO (significant other) should know that you are interested in trying this out of the box request WITH them. Make them feel included and comfortable with going at whatever speed they are comfortable with and you’re going to have a lot more success.

So, let your kink flag fly!

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Anna Levenson-Pintrest