Chicago, you’re not just whistling dixie! My FOO (Family of Origin) was big on apologies. Apologizing when you mess up is a big deal. It also may be the most difficult sentence in the English language to say. Admitting you have done something that necessitates an apology is tough. Some people can admit it to themselves, but just can’t get the words out.
The hubbs is one of these folks. I spend, it seems, a lot of time saying I’m sorry, but he just doesn’t. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel bad and it doesn’t mean he won’t rectify the situation, but I have come to learn that it will be few and far between times that I will hear this from him. Which, honestly, is fine by me because I often feel he is pushed into saying these words he hates to say. I don’t want that to be the case in our relationship. Him being forced into something he finds horrible and me being the pusher. He will, however, bring me home something special I like from the store on his way home from work next time he is out of the house though. Or, if he is getting up, ask if there is something he can do for me. If I forget to do something, he might hop up to do it. His actions are showing me he realizes he was kind of a turd and that comment really WASN’T necessary after all. Sure, for the big stuff, he’s gonna whip out the I’m sorry, but when he does, I know he means it.
That’s what really matters. It isn’t the words, but the acknowledgement that our actions were less than awesome. Letting your SO (significant other) know that you get you were not so nice, but you are working to fix what an unkind word or action broke is so important. Nobody is perfect, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep working to be better.
Anna DrRuth ForToday- facebook
linusbaby1998- tumblr (an homage to a very very old screen name lol)