From when we are young children in the world, we learn an instant truth. Touching yourself feels pretty good. However, through various manners, we also learn that this is bad. Truthfully, it’s not bad, just perhaps not a public activity. Many women say they cannot have an orgasm with a man, often that they cannot have an orgasm without a little self love. Why is this? How can you expect someone else to touch you the right way if you do not even know what that way is? It’s not going to happen! One of my favorite people runs the Passion Party business in Memphis, TN. Pat calls herself the rubber dickie lady, saying she sells things to “make your lucy juicy.” A bit crude? Perhaps. But I would be she has an extremely satisfying sex life! As a dancer, while many people may say its degrading or what have you, I disagree. When you spend hours a day being sexy, feeling sexy, and acting sexy, the result is you’re sexy!

Dancers tap into their sexual power daily. In order to be a sexual being (which we were all created for), you have to let yourself be sexual. So, today, or as soon as you can, I want you to learn how to love yourself. Use your hand, use a shower head, if you have a vibrator or massager use that (although they can be intimidating to someone not used to self-love) and take 20-30 minutes of quiet time. Shut out the world, turn your phone off, be alone, relax, and give yourself time to discover your body. What makes you tick? Because until we learn what we like, it would be impossible to hope someone else can learn what you do not know yourself.

And always, love thyself, because you can’t teach someone else how to love you if you don’t know how to love you!